Wow.

I know that I haven't updated in a long time. Not like it really matters, but I just kinda feel like venting a bit.

I'm not really enjoying college. I mean...I don't know. I haven't really made friends. I've made friends with the non-majors, but they're not the people I need to be good with. I guess lately it's been getting better because it's easier to talk with some of them, but I'm not friends with any of them. It's (at least) partially my fault because I just went in assuming that because I knew Kristal, and Steve kind of closely (I thought) and Dorothy and Topher on a smaller scale that I'd be set. And Orianna, because she's Mike's cousin. No, not so much. My clinging to Steve basically drove him 100% away from me and now he doesn't like me. Understandable. My first day, I specifically remember being all excited when I saw Deshawn and Jake, and they both kind of freaked a little when I hugged them and said that I loved them. It's like now that I've caused all that damage, it's irreversible. Nothing I ever do will make them forget it. I've made sort-of friends (more like acquaintances)...and I'm getting kind of lonely. I guess Jon was right, I really wasn't 'in' with them, and I'm still not. One person that I've met that I like is:

Tim. And I don't mean like as in, "oh you're my friend. Awesome, let's chat." I mean like as in, "you're...so nice to look at. I love your lip piercing. Pookie? Let's get drunk and make out!! PLEASE?" That kind of like. He's "bi". He's about as bisexual as Lance Bass. Everyone knows he's gay just by looking at him. He's never had a relationship with a boy, but he's fucked boys (I think). It really sucks because he's really lovely and I'd love to have a relationship with him.

What about Jeremy, you ask. What about him? There is nothing to talk about. I still love him and I would love to be with him if at all possible, but I just don't see that being the case. I think my blissful "promise ring" wearing, wedding planning days are all but over. I can't know it's over for another month and a half, anyway, if I'm lucky.

Now. Back to people I like. Chris. I really, really like Chris, too. He's so cute and so funny...but, again, so gay. He even said himself that if a guy isn't willing to be on the bottom, then he isn't truly gay. Has Chris been on the bottom? I'll never know, but probably. He's so gentle and he's so loving and I think he'd make a fabulous boyfriend, but he likes dick...and I can't compete with that.

And...........here's the real clincher:

I like Dorothy's best friend. You might be thinking, what's so bad about that? Well, I met her best friend only a few times. So? That's okay, if you like him. Um....her best friend's name is Ebony, and is in no way a boy. She's a beautiful, smart, wacky, bisexual girl.

I'm so conflicted. I really, really like Tim but he doesn't like me, or at least I don't think so. I don't know what to do. I'm just so down lately. I need a hug, and I need some friends...Not that my friends aren't good enough, but Mike and Jon and Lori and Janelle can't be around me at school. It's always good to meet new people, right? Ha. I've met them. The clincher is being friends with them, a feat I can't seem to accomplish.

Help?

I'm sorry that I haven't updated, not that anyone gives a flying shit. I just wanted to update y'all on my life recently. Not much is different...Jeremy still doesn't call, my mom's still a bitch, and I'm still fugly. The only difference is now I'm starting college. Tomorrow. Ouch.

Honestly, I'm a little bit scared. I mean...I know people, I know the campus, I really shouldn't be scared, but I am. Just a little. Until I get settled in, I am going to be uneasy. I already have an audition tomorrow. I have to memorize 2 monologues by tomorrow, and here I am updating  Oh, well. I guess I really just need to bitch about Jeremy and my mom and my 'job'.

Jeremy and I have NOT been talking. As in...he's been way too busy for me. Have I ever been too busy for him? No. I always make time for him, but I guess I don't deserve the same consideration. I talked to him on a Monday, and he told me that he'd call Wednesday. Did he? Nope. He called Jon, but not me. He calledgo Jon Thursday, but not me. He hasn't called in 2 weeks (AGAIN!). He always goes away for, like, a month, calls me once, and goes away again. It's really taking a toll on me. I love him so much and I don't want to let him go, but if he's going to be non-existant in my life I'm not sure I really have a choice. It's like he dropped off the face of the planet! I'm actually getting worried because I don't want something to be wrong, you know? And there's this guy who pays attention to me who likes me and he flirts with me when he KNOWS I'm lonely...and it bothers me, and yet I'm, like, drawn to him. It's really bad. I need to talk to him soon...I'm really getting upset.

My mom never seems to think I can do anything. If I say I want to do something, she only points out the bad things about it. It pisses me off really bad. I don't want to get into anything about my mom because she literally JUST pissed me off before I wrote this, and I am still too pissed to right about it.

My boss at DQ hates me. I am looking for a second job as we speak. I got called back by Dorney, but I'm still waiting for the second callback from Jon's bitchy boss Ellen. I hope she calls soon...I want to work, PERIOD. I am so sick of not working. Working one or two days a week is not good enough. I am so tired of him not scheduling me because I called off twice. HELLO, I ASKED FOR THOSE DAYS OFF AND YOU DIDN'T GIVE THEM TO ME! OBVIOUSLY I AM GOING TO CALL OFF! And I ALWAYS call the day before, NEVER the day of. He says he doesn't hate me, but I think it's BS. I just may have to quit in order to keep my dignity. Course I'll never go back because it will upset me...but that's a different story.

Anyway, I'm done bitching. Let's talk about something not bitching-like...Jon came over for, like, an hour the other day (Wednesday?) and we took Snowy for a walk to the park. She loved it! She went down the slides, she went in the swing...it was sooooo cute. I love my dog  Then we saw 'The Invasion' and Jon's car, Homo, got butt-fucked by a random alien. We have photographic evidence! And then I was making weird noises with the whipped cream on my ice cream at Friendly's....yeah. It was a great night. I also saw 'Superbad' with Jon and Shawn on Monday. Allison was there, but Shawn and I didn't like her so we chose to, basically, ignore her. She's really, really annoying. I also went bowling with Jon and Mollie and Yoanny. Again, Allison was there, but Jon is the only one who likes her. At all.

My update is done....Jon, leave comments. Mike, too, maybe. XD

Well, apparently I lied. I didn't update soon! Aah, well. I'm updating now. And there really is only one thing for me to update about at the moment, the best thing ever--MY SENIOR TRIP!

Oh, my God. Never put Lori, Jon, and I together in a hotel room. Ever. Hehe, it was INSANE! Allison and Boyer were going nuts, too, but it was really the three of us that were insane. Jon started soooooo many pillow fights, and he gave us all bruises, lol. But, don't worry, he got his fix, too. I kicked him in the face, and got his eye!! And it was a total accident, I wasn't aiming! I'm actually kind of proud of it, lmao. The funniest part of the whole trip (well, the part that still cracks me up!!) is the 'war' between Jon and I. I stole his key, he stole my movie and locked me out of the room. I didn't know that he had my movie, so I kept trying to get in. I kept saying 'room service', and I even found a piece of half-eaten cheesecake which I held up to the door, and smeared it on the peephole  I finally got in, locked the boys out of their side, and that's when I found out. I got REALLY pissed that he stole my movie, and I was screaming and cursing and carrying on. Eventually I ended up getting upset because I felt dumb because I flipped out at them. They went down to the pool. Soon enough, I regained myself, and realized that I had a key to get in, now, even though I thought I didn't have one. So I snuck into the boys room. I did some really random things to get back such as:

A)I hung Lori and Allison's underwear on a hanger and put in on a lamp right outside the boys room for the whole world to see.
B)I put Jon and Anthony's sneakers into the mini-fridge and turned the temp up as high as it would go.
C)I hid Lori's lollipop
D)I filled Jon's bathtub up with warm water, went out into the hallway, got the half-eaten cheesecake, and set it afloat!! Hahaha, that was the funniest thing ever! I couldn't help cracking up over it. And by the time Jon found it, it was really, really disgusting because pieces of it had broken off and stuff. Lmao! It was hysterical. Of course he made me clean it up, but he was the one who took it out of the bathtub, so...it worked. Lol. Either way I found it totally hysterical, and Jon and I were laughing about it for the rest of the next day, because I was mad at him that night.

Another highlight was us going to a gas station to get snacks, and Jon spending $15 bucks on candy and soda, and then going back the next night for more! Well...Boyer and I ended up buying more...but not as much as him! He always yelled at us, and told us not to touch his shit, but the last day he was like..."Guys...eat my shit." Lol it was funny. He got so pissed, though, the first night, because someone apparently drank one of his sodas, and nobody fessed up. He said that someone had to buy him another one, but nobody did and I guess he forgot. But it was 2 a.m. and he's screaming about this stupid soda, and saying "fuck"...lol. We all swore a LOT on the trip, but at 2 a.m. I don't think he should have been screaming over a soda bottle.

Then there was the time that Boyer and Jon were beating the shit out of me with pillows, and Allison came through the door, put something in the fridge, and walked back out without looking at us or saying a thing. That was hysterical, too. And Jon kept farting and Lori was saying it smelled like cream of broccoli lmao. I got cursed at twice on the night before we left. First time--I fell asleep on Jon's bed while he was in the bathroom, and when he came back he told me to get the fuck off his bed. I just moved and told him to fuck himself lol. Then, at like 3:30, I decided to go to bed. I went over to Lori who was asleep next to Jon on Anthony's bed, and I told her that it was like 3:30 and that we should go to bed. She said, "Well fuck you," and turned over. I was like whatever, went to bed, and as I was sleeping Allison goes "Megs!" I'm like "what?" She says, "Do you want the TV on?" Lol. No, Allison, I was already asleep, but thanks for that. Lmao.

It was a great trip. For all the stress that it put on Jon, I think it was worth it. Thanks, Jon, for scheduling the trip. I had a lot of fun!! I love all of you!

Oh, and my stupid fucked up boyfriend hasn't called me in, like, 3 weeks. And, I found out last night, that at my graduation party he was looking at her. He's in for a bitching when he calls me. He's been very forgiving (so far) about my phone sex thing, but we haven't really been able to talk about it because he's been grounded. But, before I get into that, I am going to say goodbye, and that I will (hopefully) update soon.

Love
Megan

seriously, mike, if you come on, go home. i want to hang out with you today, and if you aren't home than it isn't possible!

my dad sold my car, and she is officially gone now. it's bitter sweet because i loved my car, but now at least i can park Lefty without looking like a drunk!! and, Lefty is no longer Left-if-ied anymore, because she got her turn-signal fixed. Aah, well, I'll still call her Lefty. and I have a new curse--Christmas fuck. I said it last night, and Mike thought it was the best thing ever. Lol.

I leave for vacation on Saturday, and I won't be back until Sunday of the next week. Don't miss me too much.

Jeremy, love, goes for his evaluation today. I hope he does OK :)

That's about it....

OK. I'll update soon :)

Love
Megan